What is this thing called Love?
by Amazon Bunny
Summary: [ch8] Just when the adventure couldn't get any worse...Kraine, Colloyd, Sheelos, Gesea
1. Life

What is this Thing Called Love?

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Amazon Bunny- What is up, y'all? XP

Kratos and Lloyd- ::rapping in the background:: Yo yo yo, we're gonna wreak havoc upon yer section, yo yo yo! (from DBZ movie mr. rapper dude's lyrics, no sue)

Amazon Bunny- ...That's bad rapping. XD

Kratos and Lloyd- THE WHOLE WORLD GOIN' UP IN SMOKE 'N FIRE, HOT DOG IN THE MICROWAVE WAY TO LONG...

Amazon Bunny- SHUT UP!

Kratos and Lloyd- ....

Amazon Bunny- Much better. Now I don't own Tales of Symphonia, and I won't ever ever ever, because I don't have enough money to buy Namco. Now read my fic, and you'd better like it! ::imitates Xianghua from SC2:: just kidding! My first attempt at a tragedy fic.

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_I never thought that he would leave me here  
So cold and alone  
in this ugly dark world called earth  
I remember what we used to do  
And my heart aches with the memories  
Why would you leave me here?  
Why would you leave me here?  
What have I done to you,  
Why would you leave me here?_

Raine pulled the blanket tighter around her body. Her body felt so numb and achy. There was this giant weight at the bottom of her stomach, and someone was cutting away at her heart.

**Kratos was dead.**

It was a noble death, he died protecting a nobody like her. The memories were all too clear. So painfully evil but true.

FLASHBACK

_"Wow, isn't the view simply amazing?" Raine sighed as she gazed down upon the newly found ruins atop a high cliff beside Kratos. "There's even a lake beneath this bluff!"_

_Colette jumped up and down, clapping her hands in excitement. "Wow, it's so pretty!" She cried out in glee. And then in mid leap, she stumbled and fell. Right into Lloyd's lap._

_"Whoa, Colette, you okay?" Lloyd asked. _

_"Uh-huh." The blonde former Chosen nodded meekly. A gentle blush came to her face as she realized where she was. Genis laughed out loud. _

_"Lloyd and Colette, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G..." He serenaded them in an annoying, sing-song voice. It was very off-key. There was a sharp sting on the back of his head. "Oww, Raine!"_

_Everyone laughed. Yes, even Genis. And then they were attacked._

_Large, clicking pincers grabbed Colette and picked her up from the shirt collar. "Whoa!" she screamed as it tossed her in the air. Pink angel wings flashed, and in an instant, she was hovering above the treetops. "Stardust Cross!" There was a rain of bright yellow stardust, and the monster groaned and stumbled around blindly. _

_"Time to die, monster!" Lloyd pulled out his twin blades. "Sword Rain, Heavy Tiger Blade!"_

_"I'll show you true power..." Genis chanted. "Indignation...Judgement!!"_

_"Ray!" Raine called for her magic lights._

_"Judgement!" Kratos yelled from beside her. _

_There was a flurry of lights and slashing, and the green pincers retreated into the depths of Garroachia Forest. _

_"What was THAT?" Lloyd asked, sheathing his swords._

_"It would appear it was a mutated Praying Mantis, most likely after we found the treasure, the souls here were angry enough to create and mutate new monsters." Raine explained. She tsked and shook her head. "No, it might also have resulted after the two worlds combined."_

_Genis sighed. "Well, whatever it was, I'm glad we're all ok." There was a silence, and then Kratos added, "We should be going back. It's getting dark anyways."_

_Raine nodded. "You kids have school tomorrow, too." Lloyd pouted. _

_"Who are you calling kids? You're barely older than we are!" He complained. _

_"Perhaps so, but it seems you lack the brains you'll need out later in the real world," Genis snickered. Lloyd glared at him. _

_"You're such a great friend," Lloyd said sarcastically while Raine laughed much like Megumi Takani from Rurouni Kenshin. "So loyal, so supportive..."_

_Colette's sensitive ears picked up rustling from behind her. "Everyone..." She stood stiffly. "We have company..!" _

_Almost immediately, Raine's knees buckled and she was lifted a great twelve feet into the air by even larger pincers. She screeched and poked frantically at the monster behind her. Everyone yelled out in surprise. Kratos was the first to spring into action, drawing his lethal sword and thrusting it at the gargantuan head. It pierced it's forehead, and green blood spurted everywhere. The insect reared and screamed out in agony, throwing it's head around, along with Raine, and then it released her, sending her sailing over the cliff and headfirst down the giant mountain. She screamed bloody murder as she fell, down, down, down..._

_Throwing all common sense aside, Kratos dove after her, as everyone desperately tried to defeat the monster. Closer and closer, he approached the orange-clad woman...And he grabbed her wrist. _

_"Raine!" He said sharply and pulled her towards him. _

_"Kratos! What the hell are you doing? Let me fall! Save yourself!" She cried. "Use your angel wings!"_

_He smirked. "I can't use them anymore. I lost them." Shaking his head, he smiled gently. "Live strong, Raine. I...love you." And with those final words, he threw her, with all his might, upwards, and the elvish woman rocketed into the air, crying out the angel's name even when Colette intercepted her. _

_He was gone when she reached his body. A bloody gash ran across his head, indicating he had smashed himself against a boulder when he fell. Tears poured down the half-elf's cheeks.  
__"You...you...IDIOT!" She screamed, falling to her knees and placing his head in her lap. "You should have let me fall instead!..."_

_Kratos' funeral was short but everlasting. He was buried beside Anna, back at Lloyd's, where Raine was sure he'd be happy in his afterlife. _

_This is goodbye...Kratos..._

_-------_

Raine screamed out from under the covers.

"**_Kratos!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_**

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Amazon Bunny- Well, how was that?! Good, ne? XP I'm so good at angst!

Kratos- I'm dead?! UNfair!

Raine- Yes! I call for a protest! REBEL REBEL!

Amazon Bunny- O.o Review..


	2. Anna

What is this thing called Love?

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Amazon Bunny- Sorry for the delay, peeps, I was busy!

Kratos- Sure you were.

Amazon Bunny- You're dead! ::points to door labeled "Hell"::

Kratos- Ah the memories. ::remembers to when authoress sent him to hell during the making of "Teacher's Pet"::

Raine- I won't let you die, my LOVE!

Amazon Bunny- Ook....Whatever floats your boat. Please remember I don't own Tales of Symphonia. Now if you excuse me, I have to go dye my hair cyan blue like Yuan's. His hair is so cool.

Yuan- ::flips hair femininely:: Yes? Yes, yes it is!

Amazon Bunny-...Get on with the damn story.

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_I'm falling from the sky   
Wings appear around me as   
I try to fly   
But I'm falling   
__Falling from the sky   
My halo's slippin' down   
My halo's slippin' down   
_

Sweet Martel he was alone. Heaven was a lot colder than he thought it was. Sort of like Welgaia. Angels floated around him, minding their own buisiness, ignoring him. Not that it mattered, since he was pretty much used to that, but...

Where was Anna?

And what was that deep emptiness inside of him? He didn't know, strangely. He wondered how she was fairing. Was she ok? And most importantly, was she here?   
His heart thumped painfully inside his ribcage as he walked swiftly around the area. Angel after angel, Kratos saw, but none with the same characteristics as beautiful Anna. Slumping down on a bench in front of a great manor in a defeated sort of way, he caught a flash of color, and two figures on the top of a grand set of stairs. Almost immediately, a crowd gathered, all wanting to be in front. What Kratos saw next sent his heart plummeting clear through his stomach.

The woman at the top of the stairs was none other than Anna. In the arms...of another.

She was the same as when he had last saw her. Long, cascading, wavy brown hair falling to her slender waist,a pair of clear, lovely brown eyes, and oh so lovely features. Dressed in a light, feathery, pale-red robe, she was the perfect image of a goddess.However, she was cuddled up in the arms of a young man about the age of twenty-eight. The male had piercing blue eyes that took in everything like a hawk, and a mop of unruly, spiky azure hair. He waved to the mass gathering at the foot of the stairs, and they went wild. Making their way down the stairs, the mercenary saw unfortunately, that the man placed a passionate kiss on Anna's lips, and she very much enjoyed it. Angered, he stood up and pushed his way through the crowd and to the front. Panting, he shouted angrily-

"Anna! What is the meaning of this?" He said, trying his best to control his anger.

Brown eyes took his image in perceptively. Anna waved at the crowd and shooed them away. "Kratos..." Anna said slowly, her voice like tinkering bells. "It's been quite a while, hasn't it..." The grip on her arm tightened as the man beside her stared at Kratos.

"Anna, who is he?" He said quietly, gesturing at Kratos. "Do you know him?"

"Know me!" said Kratos furiously. "Of course she knows me! She's my wife!" Touya's gaze stiffened.

"Touya, don't listen to him, he's obviously a fan," Anna said quickly, tugging on his arm to get him away. "Let's get something to eat."

"Wife? You're _married_?" Touya said unbelievingly. "You told me you were single!"

Kratos stared hatefully at the couple."Tell me you didn't, Anna..." He said solemnly.

The woman broke into hysterical tears and fell into Touya's arms. "Well, what was I supposed to do? Wait for an eternity for you? You were an angel! You couldn't die from aging! And I wouldn't let it keep me from loving again!" She wiped away several tears. "Besides, I thought you were happy with _Raine_ down there!" She said 'Raine' as if it was the most disgusting word on the face of Derris Kharlan.

Kratos snapped. Turning swiftly on his heel, he marched off, the stone ground crunching as he sped off. Hot tears came to his face. "I thought.... " He cursed softly, tears sliding down his face, his auburn hair shading them as they did so. "Damn it all...!"

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Amazon Bunny- Wh00t! Another chapter down! XP

Kratos- Anna CHEATED ON ME?!

Raine- I knew she was going to! I knew it!

Kratos- UNfair! ::grabs sword and kills plushie Amazon Bunny::

Amazon Bunny- Sorry, Anna-fans. 8( I hope you guys weren't too upset about that. Well, next chapter will have a HUGE twist, and I mean HUGE HUGE times a million. Stay tuned!

Kratos- ::holds up picket signs:: Rebel rebel!

Raine- ...

Amazon Bunny- ::holds up picket sign:: REVIEW REVIEW!


	3. What is this thing called Love?

What is this Thing Called Love?

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Amazon Bunny- ::squeezes plushies:: XD Time for the chapter of big surprises!

Kratos- Anna's going to break up with Touya?

Raine- ::pouts:: And what's that supposed to mean? I thought we had something between us Kratos! ::weeps::

Amazon Bunny- ...Soap opera antics. Wowie.

Kratos- Don't worry. I have good news! ::pats Raine's shoulder::

Raine- You don't love Anna, but you love me?

Kratos- ...I just saved a bunch of gald by switching to Ygdrasiall's Rheiard Insurance.

Amazon Bunny- XD!!!

Raine- I thought you loved me!

Kratos- I saved a lot of money! I thought that meant something to you!

Amazon Bunny-I don't own nothing, enjoy!

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Chapter Three   
What is this thing called Love?

_Bushido   
means death.   
Every morning prepare   
your mind on how   
to die and every   
evening refresh your mind   
with the thinking of   
death. In this way,   
your mind will always   
be ready. When your mind   
is ready to death, life   
will be much easier.   
When all things in life   
are false, there is   
only one true thing---   
THE DEATH._

_Code of Bushido_

Raine stirred the contents of a large pot feverishly. Sweat rolled off her pale face, blue eyes fixed themselves so hard on the contents of the pot so much that if looks could kill, the pot would be dead. If it wasn't already dead, that is.

"The whole horn of a unicorn....Boltzman's healing technique..." She muttered under her breath. Sighing, she reached into her coat pocket and quickly read aloud the elements in an adult human body, down to the last bit of calcium in each and every bone. "Dammit!" She cursed, clapping the book shut. "What am I missing?" The potion bubbled and frothed violently, changing from a bright blue to a sickly auburn color. "Yes...yes...that has to be it." Raine whispered, staring at the concoction. "Human blood. Or in my case...half blood." She raised her index finger to her lips. When she took it away, it was bleeding. Not dangerously, but enough so that blood dotted her hand.

"You'll be back soon, Kratos, I promise." She whispered, dipping her finger into the sizzling, hissing mixture.

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He couldn't believe it. Anna was...with someone else. Tears splashed down his face. After all that they had been through...! It was just so impossible. The angel pounded his fist on the brick wall. Surely no one could find him in this dark alley. How bad could hell be compared to this? He thought to himself. Blindly, he stumbled toward the edge of the cloud. He remembered the words of the angel at the Golden Gates. If you jumped off the cloud...you'd plummet straight to hell.

Taking one look over his shoulder as he neared the edge of the puffy cloud, he saw...them...again. Anna and Touya. The sight sickened him. He turned away, squeezed his eyes shut, took one deep breath, and fell from the cloud.

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Raine flinched as the potion burned her finger, stinging, sizzling...As the auburn potion stung at her, and at that instant, she knew it was poison to her. As the sensation spread through her veins, she saw that the potion began to swirl into a great mass of light. The light formed itself high above the forest treetops into a male figure, and in a burst of colors, that figure was collapsed on the ground. She had suceeded in bringing him back before he fell into hell- where she couldn't bring him back. A small smile played on her lips, and she closed her eyes.

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The half-elf's eyelashes fluttered. She tilted her head in the direction of Kratos, managed a small smile, and whispered, "Welcome back..."

"Raine..." Kratos' deep voice said softly. He placed a soft kiss on her lips. "It's good to be back." She returned his kiss passionately and looked lovingly up at the Seraphim.

"How did I live?" She reached up and brushed unruly bangs from his face. "The poison..."

"I sucked it out from your finger. You'll be okay." He said reassuringly with a smirk. "Thank you." He placed another wet kiss on her forehead. "Let's never leave each other again."

"Yes," she said softly. "I swear it."

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**To my reviewers...**

**_Hamano Ayumi- _**Wow! Thanks for the TWO reviews! Yes, ::sighs:: Anna cheated on Kratos....Horrible, isn't it? ::snickers:: OHOHOHOHO! ::mimicks Megumi:: Actually, I was never really an Anna fan, and definetely not a KratosAnna fan....sorry all you KratosAnna fans, and sorry if you like this pairing. XD I was thinking about putting in a song from Evanescene, cuz you know, they're real angsty and all...

**_Kitten Kisses- _**Yay! Long reviews! I think I sent an email to you, either that or my computer's gone stupid again and saved it to my drafts folder. I read your newly updated story! YES! THE A DRIVE IS FIXED (I think)! it was an awesome chapter, please make more!

**_Green Magi- _**Yeah, Genis is a genius and should have graduated, but hey, he's 12, right? so why not keep him in school? Or just send him to Palmacosta Academy after its been rebuilt?...Idk.

**_WhitterZ- _**Glad you liked my chapter. I don't think Raine's going to be sad anymore.

**_Sanosuke Cigara- _**I love angst stories! XP And I love watching Rurouni Kenshin! So glad they put it back on Toonami. Too bad it's only on Saturday.

**_Kazaana the Furyou Houshi- _**lol always with the funny reviews. KEEP IT GOIN', MAN! XP!!! Kratos won't be watching you from above anymore. Too bad, lol

**_Sizzlin- _**Thanks for the review! I hope you liked this chapter!

**_Trevor Xl- _**lol thanks for your review! Hope you liked this chapter!

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READER'S POLL-

Amazon Bunny- What do you think I should put in the next chapter? I'm having a bit of a writer's block people. Kratos is back, what now? ::scratches head:: It's up to you! Review and tell me!

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Amazon Bunny- YAY! KRATOS IS BACK!

Kratos- ::hugs Raine:: I told you I'd be back.

Raine- You never told me. You told me you saved a bunch of money---

Amazon Bunny- Ohohohohoho!

Kratos- That!- ::cuts Raine off:: was a figment of your own imagination.

Raine- Oh. XP What a silly goose I am...

Amazon Bunny- And btw, I watched LAST OF THE MOHICANS in school today. I chickened out and closed my eyes at the bloody part. I owe my friend 5 George Washingtons. Remind me. No, actually- ::shifty eyes:: Don't remind me.

Kratos- ...Wuss.

Amazon Bunny- ::sends to hell:: MUWAHAHAHA! I told you I'd pick up that tradition again!

Kratos- ::being flushed to hell: No....you....didn't!!

Raine- NOOOOOOOOOO!

Amazon Bunny- Review!


	4. Party yo!

Chapter 3

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Amazon Bunny- Yay! Thanks for the idears (lol my social studies teacher has this funky accent when she says 'idears' when I say 'ideas') Green Magi and Hamano Ayumi! I'mma gonna use em both!

Raine- ::bows in her little silver kimono:: We are truly thankful!

Kratos- :D ::drools::

Raine- ::blushes:: Oh honey...

Amazon Bunny- .....Ok disclaimer time. ::grabs Kratos by the ear and pushes him up to camera::

Raine- ::pouts::

Kratos- ::sidelong glance:: Aww...Amazon Bunny does not own ToS. She owns the computer used to put me through this horrible expirience.

Raine- Poor baby...::pats his head:: Am I that bad to you?

Kratos- Nope! I changed my mind! ::purrs::

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Several months have passed since Kratos was brought back from the dead. Everything was calm and the two were blissfully happy. Having now purchased a new home atop a bluff on the outskirts of Asgard, nothing could be better. Genis and Lloyd had also moved in with their family. Time rolled by, until it was a month from Raine's birthday.

"..Raine."  
"Mmm? You're still awake?" Raine rolled over from underneath the warm bedcovers. She wrapped her arms around his stomach and buried her head in his chest. "You smell good..." She could say these things now withoutthe rude comments from Genis and Lloyd.  
"Raine," Kratos inhaled the scent of his love's hair. "We've been together all this time...How...how would you like it....if we got married? Do you like the idea?"  
The half elf lifted her shining blue eyes to his. "Really? We can finally settle down and get married? I'd love to..!" She planted a kiss on his forehead.  
"Then..." Kratos broke away from her hold and opened the drawer beside their bed. When he rolled over, a silk box was in his hand. "Will you marry me?"  
"You know the answer," Raine whispered. "Yes.." Their lips locked in a fiery kiss to prove her answer.

Within days, the news had spread, and their old friends once again flocked to the couple's home. Sheena and Zelos arrived shortly after Colette, Phiadra, and Frankdid, and there was much more noise that night. The following day, Presea and Regal arrived, sending Genis into a stuttering havoc. Lloyd laughed himself unconscious that day, and Genis fainted from embarrasment and had to be carried to his room by Regal while Raine tried with no avail to First Aid him. Yuan surprisingly showed up, and when asked, said calmly thatDerris Kharlan was safely "parked"beside a lake so that the angels could do whatever they pleased. The "lake" was Luin. Little did they know that the people of Luinhadbeenscared silly and half the population sufferedeither a stroke, seizure, orheart attack.Chocolat and Cacao also joined in the festivities.

The day before the wedding, the group held a small party, featuring karoke. The duo of Lloyd and Genis had been booed off the stage, who tried to sing "Over and Over Again" (A/N:: by Nelly and Tim McGraw, I don't own, you no sue.) and used magic to create effects which blew up half the stage. Chocolat happened to be quite a talented singer, able to sing "La La" (A/N: by Ashlee Simpson, again, YOU NO SUE!) sucessfully, while Regal danced so maniacally that everyone was plastered to the wall with fear, including Chocolat, who was singing fearfully, her voice cracking every three words. Yuan was also booed off the stage after singing quite a bit of what he called 'angelic opera music' from Derris Kharlan productions. Raine, Sheena, and Colette sung 1,2, Step (A/N: ::sigh:: getting quite TIRING...I don't own. By Ciara.)

Later, several of the party members enjoyed a revealing game of strip poker, with Zelos losing every round intentionally, and after several moments, sitting only in his birthday suit. Pretty much everyone quit the game when he was down to his pink boxers. Sheena was left to stare at his manly manhood.

After uncorking several pints of very strong wine that Namco sent as a wedding gift, everyone became drunk, and Sheena and Zelos ran off somewhere to enjoy a bit of skinnydipping. Genis glanced several times at Presea, blushing every time, evidently hoping Presea would ask to accompany him in this very naked expierience. Kratos escorted Raine off, and soon enough, Lloyd and Colette were making out, obviously when Phiadra, Frank, Regal,and Cacao were still inside, talking. Chocolat was hiccuping dangerously and swooning every once in a while.Genis shifted nervously and helped himself to thebottle ofroot beer, since he was still underage. Of course, Lloyd was still underage, but he didn't give a damn about underage drinking laws. Later, everyone except Sheena and Zelos returned to the house.However, the police arrived at the scene because the scumbags called neighbors filed a complaint about the noise and the fact that Sheena and Zelos were running up and down Asgard totally naked.

Knock. Knock.  
"Who's there?" Phiadra called.  
"THE POLICE!" the police responded.  
"Police who?" said Regal.  
"The police dispactched for disrupting peace and naked people running around in our city," the police said, and then promptly cracked up, and a knee slap was heard.  
"Ahahaha, hear me laugh," Kratos said without laughing.  
"Isn't that FUNNY?" the policewoman gasped.  
"A woman!" Zelos ran to the door and opened it. "Hunny! You're that hot mama from Meltokio! Remember me? Zelos?"  
"Baby!" The woman hugged him.  
"Are we cleared of all charges?" Zelos asked seductively.  
"Of course! And I'll go arrest those neighbors that called us," thepolice lady said with hearts in her eyes.  
Everyone sweatdropped, except Sheena, who yanked Zelos back and slammed the door.  
"Time for bed..." Cacao said after the silence.  
And so, with the grumbling, everyone disappeared into bedrooms, except Yuan, who sat stonily at the table, chugging beer after beer.

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TO MY REVIEWERS:

**Green Magi**- A meteor?? Weren't you saying that too much bad things happens to Genis? Oh well, I like the thought. ::shifty eyes:: And btw, thanks for the help you've given me for the side quests.

**Hamano Ayumi- **Yay, thanks for the ideas! Please email me! I'm soooooooo bored. Thanks again for the ideas! Lemme go get some cheese.

**Dominus- **Huh? Uh...I speak English.

**Kitten Kisses- **::gasp!:: SORRY SORRY SORRY! Didn't mean to offend ya! ::shifty eyes:: I just don't like Anna at all...

**Flint- **Yeah, first few lines from Full Metal Alchemist. Too lazy to get the exact words. lol

**ToS Fangirls 1 and 2- **Emailing...If I remember the password to my email account.

**Toboe Angel- **Yeah, my chapters are all really short and negative. I hope this is more humorous. Angst will come next chapter!

**ChaosGriffin- **Eheheheh, I know, I liked 'Just Let Me Fall' the best. My laugh is creepy. Fear me. lol jk

**

* * *

**

Amazon Bunny- ::dances wildly to all music used in the party::

Kratos- ::backs away:: You dance like Regal!

Amazon Bunny- ::stops dancing:: What's that supposed to mean?!

Raine- ::dances to Chacha slide::

Kratos- ::drools::

Amazon Bunny- Teehee! Kratos, you have this drooling problem today.

Kratos- ? ::drools:: ?

Amazon Bunny- There's a puddle by your foot....How unsophisticated you are. ::pinky up!:: Stay tuned to my next chappie! It'll be up when I feel like posting it. In the meantime, you could review!

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	5. Marriage Havoc

Chapter 5

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Amazon Bunny- Meesa back! There will be a change in the format of the story, the responses to your reviews will be posted right underneath this muse scene!

Raine- Amazon Bunny will also put in responses to reviews from her other stories about ToS.

Kratos- Oh Raine darling...

Amazon Bunny- GAH! Cute! He called her 'darling'!

Kratos- What, you want me to call her 'ruin wench'?

Amazon Bunny- AHAHAHA! Yes!

Raine- No!

Kratos- My darling honey baby sweet sugar Raine says no! ::huggles:: have I wronged you? ::becomes overly dramatic:: I shalt slay thy evil authoress!

Amazon Bunny- ::Sigh:: I don't own ToS. Kosuke Fujishima and Namco do. Oh yeah...and if some of the words become clustered (i.e. likethis), I think there might be something wrong with my computer...

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**ToS fangirls- **I'mma gonna try to email you, stupid thing breaks sometimes...::kicks computer:: I'll email you when it works.!

**Sanosuke Cigara- **Hmmm....::reads chapter 4 again:: EEGADS! you're right! ::faints:: that would be scary.

**Kazaana the Furyou Houshi- **Yes, you're right. Stupid computers don't like to work. They are lazy, worthless ::rants on:: things that don't work when you want them to! Viruses....Pfft....Who needs them? ::some friends raise hands::  
Friends- They keep us busy!  
Amazon- Pfft.  
Friends- .....  
Well, anyway, your reviews kept me laughing as always!

**Dragoonknight1- **Thanks! And it's Zelos and Sheena, Colette and Lloyd...I'm sorry if you don't like my pairings....

**Green Magicite- **Hmmm....the name is farmiliar. Are you by any chance Green Magi? Forgive me if I'm wrong. Anyway, thanks for the ideas.

**Hamano Ayumi- **You rock! Ideas, emails, political opinions, you've got it all, pal! Don't forget to email me!

**ZeekeXIV-**Thanks!!

**Priotessa- **..Dood. You live in my house. You're my little sister. Why don't you just tell it to me to my face??? Thanks anyway.

**Toboe-Angel- **Thanks!!

**Chaos Griffin- **Thanks!

**Mokuiba- **Thanks! And by the way, the song is "Back at One" by Brian McKnight.

**Onion Kid Genis- **Eh, I don't mean to sound rude, but the pairing is clearly labeled on the summary. If you dislike the pairing, don't read it. ::shrugs:: Whatever floats your boat, though.

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the next morning 

"Um...maybe this one is to your liking?" Colette held up a gold colored dress with citrines embedded in the skirt. Raine examined the dress carefully.  
"...It's very pretty. But maybe we should find something that matches my hair a little more...?" The elvish woman's emotions were running high, anxiety over the wedding to be held that evening in the sunset.  
Sheena's head poked out from the racks of dresses. "This one!" She held up another hyacinth blue with tanzanites in the train. "It matches your hair, and the evening light will bounce off the stones," she said hopefully.The Mizuhoan was already good to go as a bridesmaid.  
"It is indeed rather pretty," Presea said, stumbling out of the dressing room in a white dress with flowers threaded in her hair. (A/N:: Flower girl, eh??)She turned her pink haired head toward Colette. "You should get ready. I shall put flowers in your hair too. I used to braid flowers into Alicia's hair as well."  
"Um..." Colette turned to Raine, who was holding the dress in front of the three-way mirror.  
"Go ahead, Colette," Raine waved her off.  
Chocolat also appeared amongst the flustered females. "Mom just told me, the decorations are almost done. You said autumn flowers right?" She was wearing awhite dress like Presea's, a bridesmaid as well.  
"Yes, autumn flowers are good," Rainecalled over her shoulder on her way to the dressing room.  
"Ok, I'll go tell Mom and Phiadra."

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"Dad, you don't look right in that suit," Lloyd whined. Indeed, Kratos looked very scary. He looked like a sinister leader of the Cruxis Mafia. It was disturbing.  
Genis came crashing around the corner in his Easter Sunday costume. "Oof! What exactly does a ringboy do?"  
"He carries the ring," Regal said, straightening his bowtie.  
Yuan also looked very strange in a suit and examined himself in front of the mirror. "..." Zelos came into view soon, too.  
"Zelos, what the hell are you wearing?" Kratos admonished.  
"My gorgeous hunny attracter," the former Tethe'allan Chosen replied nonchantly. His hunny attracter was his swimming attire- a pair of sunglasses, sandals, and a lovely thong that showed off his ''masculine'' ass.  
"Go back and change this instant!" Kratos roared.  
"But my hunnies will be SO disappointed," Zelos sighed.  
"Your hunnies will be disappointed when I cut off your head."  
"Hey hey, now, that's not very nice," Zelos squeaked.  
"You're making me very impatient...," Kratos grabbed his sword sitting in the corner.  
"Alright alright..." Within minutes, Zelos came back out, dressed in his Narcissist costume. "Better?"  
"Much,"Genis said, coming out from hiding behind theracks of suits.

-------------

that evening in Flanoir cathedral(A/N: Yes, I know. I love Flanoir.)

Soft music played in the background as Presea and Colette stepped slowly down the aisle, tossing handfuls of flowers into the air. The sweet scent of white azeleas and lilies perfumed the air. Genis wrinkled his nose.

"It smells girly," he muttered to Lloyd, who was helping him carry the pillow. (A/N: I know there's only one ringboy...but he had to fit in somewhere! I can't let him sit in the pews...) Lloyd nodded in agreement.

"Flower power," he whispered back, and Genis snickered.

Sheena followed, and then Chocolat. At last, Raine appeared. The people 'ooh'ed and 'ahh'ed at her radiant beauty. "Oooh," they went. "Ahhh."

Presea and Colette had already reached the stairs by the preacher. Lloyd and Genis came soon after, but the short elven boy tripped and so did Lloyd. They landed in a messy heap by the flower girls' feet. Colette giggled, but Presea sent them an icy glare that sent both boys scrambling to their feet. "Raine and Kratos will kill you," she nudged Genis. Sheena and Chocolat appeared beside them.

"Eh, finally. that walking was killing me," Sheena sighed.

"The flowers smell girly," Genis whispered loudly to them.

"Shut up," Presea said. But she couldn't help but smile.

Raine reached the altar, and Kratos stepped forward. Yuan stood beside him, looking very annoyed. Regal just looked like his usual solemn little self. The half-elven bride looked strangely at Kratos. She shook her head swiftly as soon as she saw him looking her way.

Damn suit, Kratos thought.

The priest cleared his throat. The crowd went silent. Zelos fidgeted in the pew. Any idiot could tell he was itching to flirt with the old ladies in front of him.

After much droning of the priest, he finally declared, "You may kiss the bride". Zelos chose that instant to jump up and make a run for the altar, obviously trying to kiss the bride.

"Hell Pyre!" Kratos commanded, and Zelos was swept out of the room by fire with an almighty, quite feminine "EEEEEEEK!" Kratos turned to Raine.And they kissed.Genis and Lloyd tried to surpress their laughter,but had to beadministered "Resurrection", because they had died laughing.

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Amazon Bunny- Eh....notmy usual type of story...too....happy....

Raine- ::huggles Kratos:: WE MARRIED! ::squeezes Kratos:: WE MARRIED!!!!

Kratos- Can't....breathe!...

Amazon Bunny- Need...angst....violence...blood...fighting...

Kratos- Need......air........Raine.......stop.....

Raine- ::lets him go::::sad face::

Kratos- ::snogs Raine::

Raine-XD!

AmazonBunny- Honeymoon in Altamira...Meteors must rain there! All...must...die!

Raine- First aid...

Amazon Bunny- Eh? Oh...well...hmm Meteors in Altamira is Green Magi's idea. Thanks! And yes...thereWILL be meteors....and a lot of them....Havoc and destruction, whee!!!! REVIEW!


	6. Meteor Storm

What is This Thing Called Love?

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Amazon Bunny: GAH! Took me so long to update! I'm sorry everybody! January 3rd! It's almost a year! SO SORRY! 

Kratos: Yeah, I bet you are. (holds up snapshots of the greatest procrastinator of all times eating ice cream, slacking off, etc etc)

Raine: GASP...

Amazon Bunny: Heh, well...What can I say...

Kratos: THIS IS WHAT YOU'LL SAY, DAMMIT! (holds up fists)

Amazon: I don't own Tales of Symphonia! AHHHHHHH! (runs around in circles)

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**To my dear Reviewers...**

**Hamano Ayumi: Heya! Yo, sorry it took so long toupdate! I'm glad I finally updated...makes me feel better...I AM NOT GUILTY:laughs like a maniac and runs in circles: My question is...how did I turn an angst into this pointless, fluffy humor fic?**

**Green Magicite: Hey, I'm gonna take your advice...Altamira shall be in flames tonight...:laughs evilly: Well, thanks for waiting for so long, lol**

**Azyllyra: Hmm, just because Kratos loved Anna at a point doesn't mean he can't love anyone else. After all, I highly doubt Anna would have wanted Kratos to live a life in eternal damnation unless she was a total...you know what I mean. There's also several things I'd like to say. There's a back button on the top of your screen (bottom, I don't care where it is) and a "Close" button. Go find some Kranna fics to "fit your personality" because, frankly, I don't give a damn over what Kranna fans think about Kraine. I'm not here to change your taste, and nor do I want to. I don't care if you hate Raine, I don't care if you mutilate her in your own mind to the end of oblivion- the point is- I DON'T CARE. If you hated this story that much, why are you reading it? Save yourself the misery by following my advice, because I'm just going to "keep twisting personalities to fit my taste".**

**Critique: Perhaps you would like to read "Forbidden" or "Broken Valentine", where their relationship and characteris a little more _developed_? And Namco did develop a better relationship between Kratos and Raine than Kratos and any other character (except Lloyd) and Raine and any character (beside Genis). I have a chapter of the Tales of Symphonia manga featuring Kratos and Raine- and it's been approved by Namco. In the Japanese version of Tales of Symphonia, there is an even better relationship between the two. But you do have a fair point. However, I totally disagree with Azyllyra: I do believe that Kratos have much more interaction with Raine and does trust her, vice versa. There are plenty of points in the game, as well. Besides, do you think it'd be best for Kratos to keep mourning after a dead body and be miserable the rest of his life? Just because he loves Raine doesn't mean he's forgotten Anna and is undevoted to Lloyd. **

**Great Beaver: Aww, thanks! I couldn't agree more. If Kranna fans are review and say how pointless a Kraine fic is, then that just degrades them...Age to the new revolution of Kraine!**

**Critique (for the 2nd review): Hey, love changes people. And seeing how this magically changes from angst to humor, it's quite fitting for me. See "Failed Pickup Lines"- my new Sheelos story, for details. **

**Rice: Hey! Thanks for the review! Oh, and about the Kraine forums...You're not a clueless boss! You're awesome! Don't listen to what those Kranna fans say, they're just trying to ruin our forum. Honestly, what they do is just disgusting. "I hate Kraine"...They're trying to sabotage our wonderful forums. Just ignore them and delete them :) We believe in the Kraine pairing, no matter how "far out" they think it is.**

**Goldfish Demon: No, I said Sheelos. Did I say Sheelloyd? Oops. Well, it's Sheelos and Colloyd. :)**

**Guest: Hmm...Well, idk, lol thanks for the review!**

**none: Thanks! **

**Scarlet Kratos: Yeah...all my old stories are so short...I wonder why, lol Well I think this will be long enough. I hope, lol**

**Yukashi Tenshi: lol good luck with that! I updated "Forbidden"...it's on chapter 4 or 5 now. I don't remember, lol :gets bonked with Pow Hammer:**

**Elvyn-Light:pats Kratos: congratulations of saving gald! lol I wish he could have gotten a formal costume and a swimsuit, lol imagine how wierd that would look, lol although Judgement could have been his formal. Oh well. Thanks for the review!**

**HealingWind: I don't plan to turn this into angst anymore, lol I think this is going to be sappyness galore, lol**

**ATTENTON ATTENTON!TO ALL MY REVIEWERS FOR "PICK-UP LINES THAT JUST DON'T WORK"...  
I'm sorry I deleted the story, but I recieved a review from "JustAnotherFlamer" (anonymous review)aka my younger sister saying how much she hated the story, etc etc etc and that I was a bitch, etc. It really sucks because there were a lot of you that liked the story...I'm sorry to say that the situation goes that she reported abuse for my story for some lame reason and somehow my story was deleted. Shows you how much I'm loved, and how much I dislike her. So, if you want to get mad, get mad at her.**

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Kratos, Raine, Lloyd, and Genis flew to Altamira on their handy-dandy Rheiards the very next day, leaving a stressed Sheena to cope with Zelos, who had a massive hangover the next had to run out to the nearest supermarket to buy a pack of hangover pills, which contradicted its box, and knocked out the former Chosen like an invisible hammer over his head. Presea had, in a panic, taken to stopping random passbyers to ask if they had any idea how to cure hangovers. Those poor people gave her the strangest looks- after all, she was a twelve year old in their eyes. Regal suggested that they just leave the idiot Chosen on the ground until he woke up. Yuan suggested they pitch the redhead off the nearest cliff altogether. 

"..."  
"..."  
"..."  
"Dammit, why is everyone so quiet?" Lloyd whined. "The silence is killing me!"  
"Hmm, I wish," Genis muttered.  
"What was that!"  
"Oh, did I say something?" Genis said, feigning idiocity.  
"I dunno, did you?" replied Lloyd.  
"You mean 'Oh, did I say something'?" said Genis.  
"Whaddya mean you mean 'Oh, did I say something'?" Lloyd said, now thoroughly confused.  
"What do you mean whaddya mean I mean 'Oh, did I say something'?"  
"Gah! Nothing!" Lloyd said, shaking his head violently. "Nothing nothing nothing!"  
"Keep your eyes on where you're going, will you?" Kratos barked. "Rheiard insurance isn't cheap, you know. If you crash one of those things into the ground, you're paying for a replacement Rheiard, insurance fee, increased insurance and I'm not giving either of you allowance for the rest of your life."  
"Da-ad!" Lloyd whined. "That's harsh!"  
"And you're going to polish our Rheiards and you're going to get a fierce beating," Raine added.  
The rest of the trip was driven in silence, as they kept their eyes on the skies, determined not to damage the Rheiard in any way. At least, that was until Lloyd turned the radio of his Rheiard up too loud that he was distracted by the music and drove to the Otherworldly Gate and delayed the trip for three hours.

"Good job, Lloyd," Genis said sourly, once they had tracked down their lost posse.  
"We're almost there," Raine pointed out the massive tower that was the Altamira Hotel. She was tired and angry at the delay, a vein pulsing in her temple, throbbing from the loud music, even three hours later.  
"..." Came Kratos' characteristic reply.  
They landed minutes later, and Lloyd then promptly landed his Rheiard rather violently outside Altamira.  
"Aww, dammit," Lloyd cursed heavily afterwards, earning himself a lifelong ban from allowance.

After booking their hotel room, Raine and Kratos had to accompany Lloyd and Genis to the Amusement Park. Why an eighteen year old would love an amusement park the way Lloyd did, only Martel knew. He insisted on going on the Merry-Go-Round about fifty times, then the Spinning Cups after and after and after, followed by gorging on cotton candy, going on the Merry-Go-Round about another fifty times, then with more cotton candy, then to the Grand Tethe'alla Roller Coaster of Death, several liters of soda pop (extra caffiene), spending a rather long time in the restroom, and then more Merry-Go-Round goodness.  
Genis, for the first few rounds of the Merry-Go-Round, was quite happy, but as time progressed, the smile slid off his face rapidly. Afterwards, the trio of Raine, Kratos and Genis spent their time visiting George at the Lezareno Company.  
"So how are you, George?"  
"Quite spiffing, my old friends," the vice said confidently. "Enjoying the amusement park? We added the Merry-Go-Round earlier this year."  
"Oh yeah, yeah, that was awesome," Genis said, feigning happiness.  
"Here, have some cotton candy," Geoge offered to the child. "It's Cotton Candy Day, didn't you know? The company has boxes and boxes of it, and no one's eating it."  
"Hmm, I wonder why," Genis said and poked at the fluffy sugar.  
The door opened and a bunch of little kids and an adult came walking in.  
"This is the last time we come here for a field trip," the adult said angrily. "Little Jimmy here-" she pointed to the dusty-haired little boy, "-says he saw this kid in red eating so much cotton candy and then threw up on him!"  
Raine and Kratos went bright red.  
"Lloyd, I'll kill him!" Raine muttered under her breath.

It was dark out, and Lloyd finally returned from the amusement park. "Where've you guys been? You missed out on the cotton candy."  
"Uh...," Genis tried to find an excuse.  
"We were waiting for you," Kratos lied. "In the souvenier shop. But you never showed up, so we went to find you. Then, when the park closed, we came back here."  
"Oh! Okay," Lloyd fell for the excuse. "Hey, there's going to be a...a...fireworks show today, I think. The guy on the Elemental Railway said."  
"I know, we were just going to head out," Raine replied and tossed the Eternal Swordsman his "Noblemen" outfit. "Put that on and we'll take the Elemental Railway to the Nightlife."

The fireworks turned out to be a failure.  
Why, you ask, why.  
Well, first of all, the Katz thought it would be fun to load catnip with gunpowder and launch them into the air. Unfortunately, catnip and gunpowder don't mix. At all.  
The moment the new concoction was set on fire, it let out an amazingly big 'Boom' and blew up half the stage. The audience ran, screaming bloody murder, to the casino, where they instantly forgot their fears and spent all their life savings on rigged games.  
"Hey, you there," a Katz said, emerging from the rubble. "You look like a skilled mage." He pointed to Genis. "Would you like to help with the fireworks show?"  
"Oh yes!" The little mage said gleefully. He loved fireworks.  
Raine, Kratos, and Lloyd looked shocked. Genis had no fireworks spells...  
"Meteor Storm!"

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Amazon Bunny: Hmm, a little shorter and in worse condition than I would have wanted it to be. Oh well, I updated, anyway.

Kratos::jaw drops: I can't believe you're setting the place on fire...

Amazon Bunny: I'm not setting Altamira on fire. Genis is. :points:

Genis: Hey, I was excited...

Amazon Bunny: Severly OOC, but I don't care...For anyone who wants to tell me that, go read the comment I left for Azyllyra above.

Raine::shock:

Amazon Bunny: Read and review.


	7. The Giant PooPoo of Death

**What is This Thing Called Love?**

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Amazon Bunny: Okay, so I'm running out of ideas, and I may have to call it quits on this story. I'm thinking8 chapters is enough for this? It's insanely random, but I love it, so I think8 chapters oughta do it. Okay? Okay. So computer's still jacked up, blah blah blah... I'm actually really suprised that I turned an angst/tragedy fic into random humor. How'd I do it? That's something I can't even answer. And I'm the author! Wierd huh! And I apologize for me going and dying on this story...haven't updated since September! sheesh! Well, anyhoo here's the 7th chapter!

Lloyd: are you going to write another horrible chapter?

Genis: Just when you thought she killed us all in her other muse-less stories.

Amazon Bunny: God damn it, they escaped from hell! What a hassle. (flushes them back down to the world of flames and sweaty gym socks)

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Needless to say, Altamira errupted in a massive flame. Screeching patrons ran ("AHHHHHHHHH!"), pushing ("AHHHHHHHHH!"), shoving ("AHHHHHHHHHHH!")to the elevator, and succeeded in getting nowhere. After all, how could you get on the elevator when everyone's shoving each other out of the way? Meteors rained down upon Altamira, like gigantic fireworks gone haywire. Explosions here and there, and screaming of people on fire filled the night air.  
"OH MY DEAR FU-" one unlucky guest screamed as he was pelted with torrents of meteors. "-ING MARTEL!"  
"JOHHNY BOY!" another misfortunate guest wailed as she was pelted into nothingness.  
"Genis, when will the meteors stop!" Lloyd cried, rocking back and forth, tears streaming down his cheeks as he curled into a ball in the corner.  
"Whenever it ends," came Genis' subtle reply amidst the chaos. 

When the meteors stopped raining, a very distressed Regal came teetering out of the Lezareno company building, holding out a very (VERY) long paper.  
"Complaints," he giggled maniacally. "And the bill to rebuild Altamira."  
"How much?" Kratos asked very professionally. "Genis can pay."  
"I hate you, Genis," Lloyd bawled.  
"Hey!"  
"You were the one that burnt down Altamira," said Raine. "But don't worry- if Lloyd hates you, you know I'll still love you!"  
"Two billion Gald," said a very giggly Regal. "That oughta cover the expenses."  
And Raine slapped Genis to the moon.

A FEW DAYS LATER  
"Well, lucky for us," Raine began. "We still have quite a bit of Gald left over from the Regeneration."  
"Yup, we paid it all off pretty fast," said Lloyd, still looking a bit bewildered.  
"But Genis is still stuck on the moon," Kratos pointed.  
As they spoke, arms crossed, sitting Indian style, Genis free-floated around in the empty space, a few feet from the surface of the moon.Candy wrappers floated around him.He sneezed and floated a bit farther away from the chunk of rock. "GOD DAMMIT!"  
Meanwhile, back on the rejoined worlds---"Knowing Genis, he'd probably use Spread or something and use it as a waterslide down," Lloyd suggested.  
Kratos and Raine laughed it off and said they'd find a better way than flood Lake Umacy to get the little mage down, but Lloyd stuck by his opinion stubbornly. "You'll see."  
Sure enough, later that day, Lake Umacy had overflowed and drowned half the tribal groups living around it. The cause? A giant waterfall descended from the heavens and into Lake Umacy (splattering rather messily), and the already full to brimming lake flooded, and the excess water slid down the grassy hills into nearby tribes in an instant. The poor people didn't know what hit them.  
Lloyd came whistling cheerfully into the hotel room, only to see the less-than-happy expressions on his parents' faces. "Did he use Explosion to dry up the water?"  
Raine and Kratos nodded numbly, reaching for their travel gear.  
"Well then I guessyou're going to slap him to the Sun now?"

Poor Genis.

When Raine and Kratos got ahold of him, he got a fierce beating (by Raine) and no allowance for the rest of his life (graciously given by Kratos), and bathroom duties for the next thousand years. And believe me, when you shared a house with Lloyd, bathroom duties wasn't fun.  
You want a room that look like a bomb went off in it? You want a room where it looks like fifty kids with dirty shoes and paintball guns had been in it? Give Lloyd a bottle of bubble bath, rubber duckies, boats, and bars of soap at bathtime.Victoria's Secret "Love Spell" scent, please.Martel knows how many times he scrawled "THE GIANT POOPOO OF DEATH" on the toilet lidin Sharpie,how many poos he actually made before he remembered to flush, and how many times to toilet clogged.Andonly Martel knows how much waterhe needed to actually take a bath-- it was almost as if hewent swimming in the bathroom. In about four feet ofVictoria's Secretbubbles.The rubber duckies and boats went MIA,most likely amongst his dinner in the "GIANT POOPOO OF DEATH".

Poor, poor Genis.

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**To my reviewers:  
Elvyn-Light: hahaKratos loves his rhieard insurance! yeah, people like that make me mad too! thanks for the review!**

**Preseathepup: lol AHHHTIDAL WAVE! AHHH EXPLOSION! poor people lol thanks for the review**

**Scarlet Kratos: hehe thanks! I don't mind purists too much, butwhen theystart insulting non-purists, that makes me mad. Stay off ourturf, and we'll leave yours alone, basically...don't know why they don't understand that. anyhoo, thanks for the review!**

**Miss Raine Sage: haha ilove kitties!katz are pretty sweet too thanks for the review**

**GyppyGirl2021: hehe thanks! **

**Lilkoifish: hmm well I understand whypeeps like kranna, but i still like kraine better! thanks for the review**

**shadowgirl75: ahh genis! not meteor storm! lol thanks! **

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Amazon Bunny: whew! another chapter down.

Genis: THAT SUCKED! YOU MADE ME HAVE BATHROOM DUTIES!

Lloyd: not just that, theentire storysucked as well.

Raine:SO RUSHED!

AmazonBunny: STOP GANGING UP ON ME! Review! I want 60 reviews before I update!please! XD


	8. Camping

WHAT IS THIS THING CALLED LOVE

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Amazon: FINAL CHAPTER! FINALLY! 

Lloyd: You haven't updated since Februrary...

Amazon: heheh...

Raine: Shame on you!

Kratos: Well at least she's getting this done, so this absolute random crap can end...

Amazon: Absolutely OOC...I don't own, and enjoy!

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FINAL CHAPTER

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One fine day, the Tales of Symphonia gang decided to go camping. Actually, they were off on a mission to kill what was left of the monsters in the forest and got lost, but that's beside the point. Anyway, their general mood could only be described in one way...  
"God dammit, this sucks!" Sheena wailed.  
"We've been past this rock fifteen times!" cried Genis in pure anguish. "Lloyd, you don't know where we're going, do you!"  
"Do I ever," said Lloyd seriously, and continued walking in the same path they previously took.  
"Let's take a break for the night," Zelos moaned. "My feet are killing me!"  
"No they're not," said Lloyd in the same, serious monotone. "I'm gonna lead us all outta here. Just you wait!"  
"Let's take a break for the night," Colette persisted. "My feet are killing me, too!"  
"Yeah, me too," said Lloyd.  
And everyone around him rolled their eyes. 

"Aaah," sighed Regal comfortably, determindedly pulling his boots off his feet, as he still had those handcuffs. Just as soon as those boots left his feet, a rancid odor filled the air.  
"Oh GOD! What IS that?" Sheena gagged, running to join her friends a good 100-meters away. "It smells like rancid ass!"  
Regal just stretched out lazily and went to sleep, not minding the rain of insects and forest critters.  
Nearby...  
"...And that's the secret to the perfect manicure," Presea was saying twenty feet away.  
"So THAT'S it!" gasped Colette. "I could never get it right! Thanks, Presea!"  
"Oh lordy." Lloyd rolled his eyes. "Lordy, lordy, lordy."  
"Have you seen Kratos' fingernails? Urgh!" Colette was saying. "My GOD! This was back in Sylvarant...we were fighting this giant chicken and the chicken ate his glove, you should've SEEN- and anyway...UG-LY fingernails!"  
Kratos sneezed in the background, and then sniffed the air gingerly. "It smells like a toxic waste dump." He turned around and looked at Regal, barefoot. "Oh."

Raine was nearby, poking the campfire with a stick. "Does anyone else feel like eating paella today?"  
"Who's cooking?" said Genis, also poking the fire.  
"Me," said Raine hopefully.  
"I'm not hungry," said Genis automatically, his wee stomach growling, while chewing a Snickers bar that read "Hungry? Grab a Snickers".  
"Nope," said Lloyd, poking the fire with a finger.  
"Not I," said Zelos, staring at them poking the fire.  
Raine sighed dejectedly.  
"How about curry?" said Genis.  
"Sheena makes good curry," said Lloyd. "Zelos, go find her."  
"Ehhhhh."

MEANWHILE...  
Sheena was taking a bath. "Ahhh it's good to get away from the rest of them today."

Zelos was walking around in the woods, trying to find Sheena, when a loud splashing noise caught his attention. In the clearing was a large lake, and he ducked between the trees to see what had made that noise.  
The lake was gorgeous, with its unpenatrated surface, and a small waterfall cascading into the pool. Zelos, captured by the lake's beauty, stood in awe, staring...staring...  
Then, without warning, the surface of the lake errupted in a volcano of water (Zelos ducked into the bushes for cover), and there was Sheena in all her glorious, GLORIOUSnude glory. Zelos peeked through the bushes to see what had made that enormous splash and--  
"Good God!" he whispered to himself with slight drool.  
He watched unblinkingly as she toweled herself dry, but she missed a drop of water, and he watched, eyes transfixed, as the water slid down her collarbone and between her--  
"Oh, this is PERFECT!" he said loudly, completely in awe.  
Sheena's head snapped in his direction.  
"Oh no..." he attempts a feeble smile and a little wave before the Demonic Banshee sends him flying.

"Do you...hear something?" Colette said suddenly, when all (except Regal, who is still killing friendly critters with his feet) were sitting around the campfire, toasting marshmallows.  
"No," said Lloyd, stealing the bag of marshmallows when the group was listening intently.  
"Shh!"  
And they all listened in silence, and soon they all heard a noise that was getting louder by the second...  
"Is that a falling rheiard?"  
"Better not be yours, Lloyd!" Kratos began to say angrily. "That's more insurance than we can afford-"  
"...eeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
"It's a bird!" Colette shrieked, clapping sticky marshmallow-y hands to her cheeks.  
"It's a rheiard!" Presea cried, equally old-Hollywood.  
"It's Zelos!" Lloyd said hysterically, clapping his hands to his bulging cheeks, and spitting out some marshmallow.  
The screaming was silenced as soon as the former Tethe'allan Chosen's face smashed into the campfire, only there _was _no campfire anymore. Instead, there was a crater with the diameter of a large trampoline, ten feet deep.  
"Holy shit!" Kratos exclaimed vehemently.  
"Lordy," whistled Lloyd, sliding down the man-made crater.  
"Is he dead?" Colette peered over the edge.  
Lloyd backhanded Zelos' fire-blackened face. "How many fingers am I holding up?" Lloyd asked, holding up a fist.  
"Cheezy weezy lemon peezy," said Zelos with several missing teeth.  
"Wrong answer!" cried Lloyd, ramming his fist against Zelos' cherry-red cheeks. "I'm gonna save ya, buddy! Don't worry!"  
"More like kill him," the rest of the group mumbled.

"T-thanks..." Zelos said in a muffled voice, his entire face bandaged like a mummy.  
"Did you find Sheena?"Genis inquired.  
"Yes," Zelos answered, shivering.  
"Where is she?" Lloyd asked.  
"At the lake."  
"What happened?"Colette stared at the bandaged Chosen.  
"It was beautiful..." Zelos said dreamily."I saw-"  
"Tell them, and I will castrate you," came the venomous voice of Sheena.  
"And nothing, I saw nothing!" Zelos whimpered.  
"Speak nothing of it. EVER AGAIN!" Sheena demanded, stomping up to the bandaged, hurting Zelos.  
"Okay! Okay, okay!" he cowered, all his masculinity kicking the bucketas he pleaded for his life.  
"Well, time to crash," Lloyd shrugged after everyone stared at Sheena to Zelos, and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and...you get the point.  
So they allpicked a spot and stretched out, ready for a good night's rest...  
"Um...guys?" asked Zelos hopefully. "These bandages are getting a bit tight around the nose."  
Silence.  
"Guys?"  
A cricket chirped.  
"Guys?"  
Silence. Complete, utter silence.  
"Guys, I can't breathe!"

Until the next day...

THE END

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To my reviewers: 

**Miyu the Vampiress:** heheheh thanks! Hope you enjoyed the final chapter!

**Jesus**: heheh I like the name! thanks for the review!

**Lilkoifish:** yeah, that's the point of the story pretty much lol

**Great Beaver: **heheh thanks! Hey my AIM's down, I'm trying to fix it...heheheh Thanks for the review!

**Scarlet Kratos:** heehee thanks! you're pretty awesome too, if I say so myself.

**Presea**: thanks! hope you enjoyed the last chapter!

**Elvyn-Light:** ya...kratos is stingy...eheheh...rheiard insurance :shakes head: well hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**Golden Vixen:** hey thanks! Enjoy! XD lol your reviews are hilarious. KEEP IT UP!

**Midge:** nope he's alive...XD enjoy!

**Shoutenryu:** heheheheheheheh you're making me blush XP but yes I agree KRAINE 4EVER (with the 4)! Thanks for the review!

* * *

Amazon: WELL THAT'S ALL FOLKS! 

Kratos: ...wow.

Amazon: I KNOW!

Kratos: Wow as in 'wow that was completely and utterly the most random thing I have ever seen' wow.

Raine: I concur.

Amazon: Well? What did you expect? I did this chapter in one day. ONE!

Lloyd: ehhhhhh

Amazon: LEAVE A REVIEW XD


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